Sermon Series: Sermon on the Mount

A Better Way to 

Handle Our Enemies

Matthew 5:43-48

PSBC 4/2/00 AM

In a nutshell: Christian love is agape love. This is different from all other kinds of love. This is an act of the will, and it is done person to person. To do this is impossible, unless we are operating under a new nature–the nature of Jesus Christ, which is the exclusive capability of Christians. Praying for our enemies is a concrete example of deciding to love in an agape way.

I. Introduction

A. Joke

Two shopkeepers were bitter enemies of each other. Their stores were directly across the street from each other, and they would spend each day keeping track of each other's business. If one got a customer, he would smile in triumph at his rival.
One night an angel appeared to one of the shopkeepers in a dream and said, "I will give you anything you ask, but whatever you receive, your competitor will receive twice as much. Would you be rich? You can be very rich, but he will be twice as wealthy. Do you wish to live a long and healthy life? You can, but his life will be longer and healthier. What is your desire?"
The man frowned, thought for a moment, and then said, "Here is my request: Strike me blind in one eye!"

B. Transition to how the Pharisees were acting

How do you deal with your enemies? In the Old Testament, God gave some very specific directions...

Leviticus 19:18
18 "`Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

That's a pretty clear statement. However, the rabbis of Jesus day, twisted this to make it a little more convenient, and a little more in consistent with the natural human bent. You see, it wasn't natural to not seek revenge of some kind against business rivals and people who did you wrong.

So, here's how God's Word was being twisted by the religious leaders, at the time of the Sermon on the Mount. Turn to Matthew 5:43

Matthew 5:43
43 "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
C. New Teaching

Now, in response to this re-invention of God's law, Jesus gives people who want to follow Him a new perspective–a much more godly perspective on how we need to co-exist with our enemies...

Matthew 5:44-47
44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?

Jesus gives a whole new set of expectations for His followers to follow, when it comes to living, working and doing business with people who might be considered enemies. To understand this teaching, I want to do two things this morning.

1. First, I want to make sure you understand what Jesus is talking about when He calls us to love our enemies.
2. And second, once you fully understand this love, I want to give 5 practical implications of this love that we're supposed to show toward our enemies.

II. The Four Loves

The New Testament was written in the Greek language, as most of you know. The Greek language is a very exact language. Where in English, we might use one word to mean several different things, the Greeks used very specific words to mean very specific things. The word "love" is a very good example of this.

A. Storge–Family Love

First, there is "storge" love. This is family love. This is the kind of love we witnessed two weeks ago when Mona and Youssry dedicated their son Luke before this church body. That's a parent's love for a child, which seeks after the best for that child, and wants to protect that child, and wants to train and nurture that child.

"Storge" love is also the kind of love that loves a parent, and seeks a parent's approval. It is also the kind of love we have for our brothers and sisters, just because they're family, regardless of how much we like them.

Illustration: I have never been very close to my middle brother. We had conflicts all the time while we were growing up. But when I was in college, and watching one of his high school games, it was storge love that motivated me to take out after a referee at the end of one of my brother's high school basketball games, where he fouled out on a bad call by that referee. (Fortunately I was restrained, otherwise my love might have led to assault.)

But storge love isn't the love that Jesus is talking about.

B. Eros–romantic love

A second kind of love that the New Testament talks about is "Eros" love. Erotic love is sexual, passionate, and has a certain degree of lust involved with it. This is the love that is a powerful part of close male/female relationships. Paul wrote practically about this kind of love, when he addressed the unmarried people in the church in Corinth...

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
9 But if they cannot control themselves, (because of eros) they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

It's a powerful emotion. But that's not what Jesus is talking about when he tells us to "love our enemies".

C. Phileo–Friendship love

A third kind of love that the Greek language uses is "Phileo" love. We get our word, Philadelphia, from this form of "love". This is "friendship" love. One of the best definitions I've ever heard of this kind of love put into practice is in a definition of friendship by the author, George Eliot. We have it hanging in a frame in our home for all our guests and "friends" to see...

"Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are. Chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of comfort blow the rest away." (George Eliot)

But, when Jesus says to love our enemies, it isn't Phileo love that He's talking about.

D. Agape–Goodwill love

Instead of "Storge", or "Eros", or "Phileo", Jesus uses a fourth word to describe how we need to love our enemies. This is Agape-love. One commentator I read this week called it the unconquerable, benevolent, invincible goodwill.

Agape-love says...
–no matter how you treat me,
–no matter what you do to me,
–no matter how you insult me or grieve me...
...I will never allow bitterness against you to invade my heart. Rather, I will show benevolence and goodwill toward you whether I'm with you or away from you. I will seek for you, your highest good.

Now, if you think that's a little unrealistic, listen to what Philip Yancey writes in his book, The Jesus I Never Knew...

The Sermon on the Mount is offensive and astringent. As I viewed fifteen movie treatments of this scene, only one seemed to capture the offense people must have felt when they first heard Jesus speak these words. A low-budget BBC production entitled Son of Man sets this Sermon against a background of chaos and violence. Roman soldiers have just invaded a Galilean village to exact vengeance for some trespass against the empire. They have strung up Jewish men of fighting age, shoved their hysterical wives to the ground, even speared babies in order to "teach these Jews a lesson". Into that tumultuous scene of blood and tears and weeping for the dead strides Jesus with eyes ablaze.

"I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you.

...So our forefathers said. Love your kinsmen, hate your enemies, right? But I say it's easy to love your own brother, to love those who love you. Even tax collectors do that! You want me to congratulate you for loving your own kinsmen? No, love your enemy.

Love the man who would kick you and spit at you. Love the soldier who would drive his sword in your belly. Love the brigand who robs and tortures you.

Listen to me! I tell you, it is hard to follow me. What I'm saying to you hasn't been said since the world began."

Now, I don't know about you, but that starts to put the things I go through during the course of my day, into a whole new light. Who are my enemies? I don't have Roman soldiers, but who do I have? Let's see...
–the person who gossips about me when I'm not in the room.
–the person who keeps sending me unkind "Welcome Cards" and never signs them (By the way, I never see them, because Andrea throws anything away that's not signed.)
–the woman who cuts me off in traffic,
–or the guy who purposely flicks his cigarette butt out of the window of his truck at me while I'm on my motorcycle,
–or the receptionist in the doctors office who treated me like an interruption to her day, rather than a patient.

They may not be soldiers, but they are people whom I naturally would not wish good will towards. And I'm sure you have some, too!

III. The Practical Side of Agape Love

But if we are going to love our enemies, with an agape love, like Jesus tells us to in our passage this morning, there are some practical things we must know about loving this way. Agape love tells me five practical things about loving my enemy...

A. Not the same as other loves

First of all, the obvious. Jesus isn't asking us to love the person who wrongs us or whom we consider to be an enemy like family, or to love them passionately, or even to love them as a friend.
He very specifically asks us to love them with a love characterized by benevolence and goodwill. Keep the distinction in mind. That's an important practical tip.

B. The nature of Agape is that it is something we will to do

Second, Agape love is a love that is a determination of our wills.

I like what Alexander Dejong wrote that I have on the front of your bulletins this morning about how this kind of love is an act of the will...

To forgive someone involves three things. First, it means to forego the right of striking back. One rejects the urge to repay gossip with gossip and a bad turn with a worse turn. Second, it means replacing the feeling of resentment and anger with good will, a love which seeks the other's welfare, not harm. Third, it means the forgiving person takes concrete steps to restore good relations. -- Alexander C. Dejong, Leadership, Vol. 4, no. 1.

C. Agape love says what has to be said

I don't think Ann Landers claims to be a follower of Jesus Christ. But she demonstrated a third practical part of Agape love, in her answer to a remorseful father that she wrote a while back...

Dear Ann Landers:
Ten years ago I left my wife and four teenagers to marry my secretary with whom I'd been having an affair. I felt I couldn't live without her. When my wife found out about us she went to pieces.
We were divorced. My wife went to work, and did a good job educating the boys. I gave her the house and part of my retirement fund.
I am fairly happy in my second marriage, but I'm beginning to see things in a different light. It hit me when I was a guest at our eldest son's wedding. That's all I was -- a guest. I am no longer considered part of the family. My first wife knew everyone present, and they showered her with affection.
She remarried, and her husband has been taken inside the circle that was once ours. They gave the rehearsal dinner, and sat next to my sons and their sweethearts.
I was proud to have a young pretty wife at my side. But it didn't make up for the pain when I realized that my children no longer love me. They treated me with courtesy, but there was no affection or real caring.
I miss my sons, especially around holiday time. I am going to try to build some bridges, but the prospects don't look very promising after being out of their lives for 10 years. It is going to be difficult re-entering now that they have a step-dad they like.
I'm writing in the hope that others will consider the ramifications before they jump. Just sign me
-- Second Thoughts in P.A.

Dear Second Thoughts:
I could use the rest of this column to reflect on "sowing and reaping," but it would serve no useful purpose. I'm sure you also know that a father can't disappear for 10 years and expect his sons to welcome him back with open arms. Sorry, Mister, your wife has earned their respect and devotion, and what's left over is going to the man who is now making their mother happy.

You see, the third practical part of Agape love is that it says what has to be said.
Friends, listen to me...
...no where does it say that I have to quietly put up with lies without speaking the truth.
...no where is Agape love described as love that allows people to keep on hurting me or hurting other people.
...There are times when Agape love demands that we speak the truth and correct people when we have the opportunity.

This isn't license to give a person a "piece of our mind"..., but it is permission to tell the truth, where it is appropriate. To do less would be wrong. God spells this out pretty clearly in...

Jeremiah 9:5-6
5 Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning.
6 You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me," declares the LORD.

Agape love has the courage to break through the deceit in a persons life and speak the truth.

D. Involves Personal Relationships

Now the fourth practical implication of Agape love for our enemies comes from an understanding of how Agape-love is always used in the New Testament. It is always used in the context of personal relationships.

Agape-love is not a license for pacifism.
Agape-love cannot be applied to nations like Iraq or Lybia.
Agape-love cannot be shown to groups of racists, or abortion activists, political parties, or groups of people who have chosen an alternate sexual lifestyle.
Because agape-love cannot–by its very definition–be applied to people you don't know personally.

Agape love can only be shown from one individual to another individual. To take it out of this realm would be to take it out of the restricted use that the very word was designed to have in the Greek language. It specifically implies a personal relationship. In this case, a personal relationship with your enemy.

So, if you're going to show Agape love to someone, you're going to have to talk to that person; you're going to have to communicate with that person; you're going to have to have some kind of social contact; so you cannot avoid them.

Understand, when Jesus says, "Love your enemies", this isn't a commandment to a nation, or a group or a church. It's a mandate from your leader to you. From my leader to me.

E. Possible only for Christians

Now, here's a fifth practical thing about agape love. You can't do it on your own, or under your own strength, with any consistency, whatsoever.

You see, to love with AGAPE, is not a natural human ability. The fact of the matter is that no person can even begin to live according to the consistent demands of Agape love without help that transcends human ability.

Look at how the Bible describes our natural human ability...

Genesis 6:5
5 The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.

So how do we consistently do what is beyond our normal human ability?

I'll tell you how... It's only through the help of the power of God's Spirit working in us.

How do we get this Spirit that will help us do the things like Agape love that God demands?

Is it by going to church? NO, that's not the defining thing. Like the evangelist, Greg Laurie says, "Going to church doesn't any more make you a Christian than going to MacDonald's makes you a Big Mac."

No, the only way to receive that Spirit from God is by entering into a personal relationship with God.

1. You do this by first, humbling yourself before God and admit to Him that you have disobeyed Him in the past, and you still have a tendency to that disobedience in the present.

2. Then ask God to forgive your disobedience–the Bible call that sin;

3. Third, ask Jesus to be your Savior–that is, you believe that He took your punishment for your sin, when He died on the cross. And in exchange for the trust you put in His sacrifice, He will give you all the righteousness that He earned by living a sinless life when he lived on this earth.

4. And finally, you purpose in your heart that out of gratitude for being your Savior, you will follow him as the leader of your life for the rest of your days.

Once you enter into this relationship with God, He promises that you will receive the Spirit who will help you show Agape love to your enemies, as well as anything else God demands of His followers.

John 14:26
26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

IV. Conclusion

A. Pray for them

Now, I've just given you 5 practical implications concerning Agape-type love toward your enemies. Now, let me close with one practical way to actually do it. And this comes from Jesus, not from me.. Jesus states it very clearly in verse 44– He says... "pray for them"

Just try staying mad, or hurt, or angry or furious or hateful toward someone for whom you're praying. You can't do it. And I'm sure that's why Jesus put that instruction here.

B. What to Pray

But what do you pray for, when you pray for your enemies out of Agape love? Let me close with this poem I wrote this week...

Oh, to love my enemies
How unnatural; how strange.
To show these people love
Is so far beyond my human range.

Bless the ones who hate me?
This can not be true.
Oh, dear God I really hate them
(And at times I enjoy it, too!)

But, listen, my Master says
There is a better way...
"As you choose to love your enemies
I will teach you how to pray."

Amen