Personality, Plus! 

1 Timothy 3:3 

PSBC 11/7/99

In a nutshell: When it comes to our ability to make the right decisions, God looks at our heart–specifically, He looks at what controls us; what we value; our gentleness; our ability to refrain from exacting vengeance; and what we depend on. Maturing Christians and those who lead the church must be right on these motivators of personal decision making.

I. Introduction

A. Paraphrase the story of David's anointing:

Saul had demonstrated time after time that he was on the way out as Israel's king. He had disobeyed God's direct orders, he had become involved in occult practices, and he mocked God by trying to cheat God out of what was rightful His. God had had enough, so He told the prophet Samuel to go to Bethlehem, and visit the family of Jesse. From this family God would choose Israel's next king.

Imagine how proud Jesse must have been, to know that one of his sons would be the next leader of God's holy nation. So, one by one, he paraded seven of his eight sons before Samuel, and anxiously waited to see who God would choose.

Would it be Eliab? He was a good businessman. He looked sharp, had a good head for investments, he would be just what the young nation of Israel would need to lead it into its next stage of growth. But God said, "No, not Eliab."

It had to be Abinadab. He wasn't as good looking as Eliab, but this guy was great with money. He knew how to balance a budget, he knew the ins and outs of financial dealings, and he could do long division in his head. Surely God needed a good money man to lead Israel into the future. But God said, "No, not Abinadab."

Then it had to be Shammah. This young man was a great leader. Even though he was number three in line, this guy's athletic ability, and his ability to get people to follow him was remarkable. When it came to leadership, nobody could hold a candle to Shammah–he had to be God's choice as the new charismatic leader of Israel. But God said, "No, not Shammah."

And so it went through all of the rest of Jesse's sons. The son who was the great thinker wasn't chosen. The computer wiz wasn't chosen. The great salesman wasn't chosen. Finally Samuel said, "Jesse, is this all you got?" And Jesse said, "No, there still is the runt--the little kid, David--He's out taking care of the sheep. But he's just a kid. And he really doesn't have a whole lot of common sense. He's rather impetuous. And he's always getting into trouble. He is always leading the sheep flock close to areas where bears and lions hide out. I don't think he's ready to be the king of God's chosen people. But Samuel said, "Bring him to me."

When David arrived, God told Samuel, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."

1 Samuel 16:13 13 So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power.

You see, God had an entirely different agenda for choosing his leaders, than Jesse or Samuel did. God's agenda is found in his words to Samuel...

1 Samuel 16:7b 7b The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

And friends that's still true for God's leaders today. The maturing men and women that God would choose to be the leaders of His church are the men and women who have their hearts right with God.

B. Paul's definition of having right hearts...

In 1 Timothy 3, Paul gives specific focus to what the condition of a leader's heart should look like. These are the things that are inside us. These are the things that we may be able to hide from other people, but we can't hide from God. These are the things that don't necessarily affect our abilities to get things done, but they do affect our ability to get things done, God's way.

Up to this point, we have looked at two areas of a Christian leader's heart. –The first was the area of character–he or she has to be morally pure, temperate, self-controlled and respectable. –The second area was the arena of a person's conduct with the people in God's church. If you'll remember from two weeks ago, that involves two things...showing love to new people in the church, and the ability to apply the truths of the Bible to everyday life.

But today, we are going to look at a third area of the heart–it's the area of our personality. We are going to look at the emotions and behavioral tendencies that are behind the decisions we make.

Now, this may surprise you, but God isn't nearly as concerned with the decisions you make, as He is concerned with how you arrive at those decisions. Because when you have godly motivation behind your decision-making process, the decisions you make will be the decisions God's wants made for your life and His church. That's why, "God doesn't look at outward appearances–He looks at our hearts."

So, what does the personality of a godly leader look like? Paul tells Timothy there are five things that need to be present...

1 Timothy 3:3 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

II. The personality of God's Leaders

Let's look at these five personality traits one at a time...

A. Not given to drunkenness

The first of these five is "Not Given to Drunkenness." The phrase in Greek says, "Does not stay near wine." Now this isn't a proof text for total abstinence. Because it doesn't say, "Does not drink wine." Rather this is pointing, as most of these five do, to motivation. What this phrase means is the person who leads the church can't be someone who relies on alcohol to get through the pressures of life. Practicing a dependency on something anything other than God, shows a weakness in a person's personality that the church cannot afford to tolerate in its leaders.

Illustration: Leon Greenberg, Associate Director of Yale University's Laboratory of Applied Physiology says, "It takes more than drinking to make an alcoholic, the alcoholic, he says, "is a victim not only of the bottle but of his own inadequacy. In his inability to meet problems he uses alcohol as a personality crutch."

That's why Paul makes this familiar statement in Ephesians...

Ephesians 5:18 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.

God's leaders cannot afford to have anything controlling them that isn't the Spirit of God. Any controlling addiction–and we have lots of them today, alcohol being just one–that controls a leader of God's church, will in the long run cause detrimental decisions to the growth, stability and mission of the church where that leader serves. This happens because the person with a controlling addiction has yielded partial control of his or her life to something other than God. And the Bible tells us...

Galatians 6:7-8 7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

In other words, God does not share well–That's why He's called a jealous God in the Bible. He wants to be the complete and total Lord of our lives.

B. Not violent

The second personality trait that Paul speaks about has to do with violence. Violence is to have absolutely no place in the personality of a leader in God's church. The Greek word literally means "smiter". A smiter is someone who hits something out of anger or frustration, in order to get his point across.

This seemed like kind of a No Brainer to me, when I first read this in my study of this passage. After all, we can't have God's leaders going around beating each other up, just to get their way.

But I read something in my files this week, that was taken from Bob Vernon's book (the former assistant police chief of L.A.), L.A. Justice, and it hit me what Paul was driving at, and why this violence issue is such an important one. Vernon writes...

Illustration: "Valuing material things and money above people is one of the true root causes of our culture's destruction. When the material is prized more than people, people lose self-esteem and regard for others.

Many people today lack a healthy sense of self-worth. The intensity of the problem varies from person to person, but at the extreme end of the continuum are those who hate themselves. They see no value in themselves. Their lives are miserable. And if they're just a bunch of garbage waiting to decay, so is everyone else.

Those who have reached this extreme are very dangerous. They're angry and bitter. Life for them is a grievous sour joke, something to dull with drugs and sex until it mercifully ends. Since that's their view, it's easy to end the "worthless" life of another. When self-respect is non-existent, so is respect for others.

In the inner city, the overemphasis on possessions is obvious. Many young lives have been snuffed out for a leather jacket, a ghetto blaster, or a pair of Air Jordans."

Friends, any Christian who is prone to violence is a person who devalues what Jesus Christ placed the ultimate value upon–the lives of the people for whom He died. And de-valuing what God values is a sign of immaturity, not maturity. Only bad decisions can flow from this kind of personality.

C. Gentle

The third personality trait mentioned in this verse is that of being gentle. Gentle in the Greek means "Considerateness at the right time." Let me show you what I mean...

Illustration: Light candle and walk rapidly until the candle goes out. Then re-light the candle and walk just as rapidly, but shield the flame as you walk.

( Quote from a medieval pastor...) What you just did serves well to remind us of the gentleness and moderation to be observed in our behavior towards weak and erring people in the church. Had this candle, when first lighted, been carried slowly, and shaded by the hand from the air, it would not have been extinguished, but would soon have burned with vigor. In like manner, many a weak brother might be set right, if we only came to his help in the right way and with kindly advice."

When Paul was defining the term gentle for Titus, another young pastor who pastored the First Baptist Church of Crete, he used the example of Jesus...

Titus 3:4-5 4 But when the gentleness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy...

At just the right time in human history, God did what was necessary in order to provide salvation for all of human kind. --He didn't come condemning... Although He had every right to condemn sinful people; --He didn't come harshly with accusations and indictments...Even though He was ticked off at human beings' total disregard for His laws and His right ways of living; --He didn't even come with righteous indignation... Even when He knew His Son would be unjustly put to death by the people He was sent to save...

But this passage in Titus tells us that He came with gentleness to bring us what we needed–in order to save us through His mercy.

Gentleness keeps strife and discouragement out of the church because it is as one commentator put it..."considerateness that looks humanely, reasonably, and with the heart of God at the facts of a case."

D. Not Quarrelsome

The fourth personality trait is called, NOT QUARRELSOME. The history of the word "Quarrelsome" is interesting. It evolved from a word that meant, "invincible". It basically means "not liking to lose". And it carries the idea of not liking to lose so much, that you want to get even. Now, that can have serious consequences...

Illustration: A husband and wife were having a quarrel over the breakfast table. The quarrel remained unfinished as it was time to get to work. The wife, having trouble with the zipper on her dress, asked for assistance. In a huff, the husband freed the zipper and then angrily ran it up and down rapidly several times, then left. That afternoon, when the wife returned from work, the car her husband drove was in the driveway. All she saw were two legs extending out from under it. Remembering the breakfast incident, she went over, grasped the zipper on his fly, and zipped it down and up several times and stomped into the house. There, to her surprise, sat her husband drinking coffee. In great embarrassment she explained to her husband what she had done. He in turn rushed outside to find his neighbor out cold. When the wife had grasped his zipper, he had reflexively tried to sit up while under the car, and knocked himself out.

Quarrelsomeness means exacting vengeance. And only God is wise enough to handle vengeance. If getting even, and having the need to get in the last word is part of your personality, then you've just identified an area you must turn over to God's control if you are going to mature like He wants you to mature. That's the idea behind, not being quarrelsome.

E. Not a lover of money

The final personality trait that Paul mentions has to do with our relationship to money. The phrase, "not a lover of money" means a PERSON WHO DEPENDS MORE ON WEALTH THAN ON GOD.

This is an issue of internal values: Where do you put the emphasis in your priorities? Is it on the eternal things that matter to God or is it on the external things that matter to man?

People who love money focus their priorities on themselves, rather than on God. To them, cars, trucks, boats, houses, retirement, bank accounts, investments, and vacations are more important than what God values–which is seeing people brought to a saving relationship with Him. People who love money are constantly seeking after more and more because a thing called, "pride" is in control of their lives. They think, in error, that "The more I have, the more self-sufficient I become"

Now, here's why Paul mentions this in the context of being a church leader: When "crunch time" comes... When faced with a decision between visionary leadership that reflects total dependency and faith on what God wants done, versus sufficiency of what's in the bank, the bank will win, every time.

And the blessings of seeing Almighty God working in and through His church will be lost in mediocrity. A church guided by leaders who love money will see only things that humans can accomplish through their church, and never will they see the things that only God can accomplish. That's why the writer of the book of Hebrews says...

Heb. 13:5 5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Loving money keeps us from thinking God's way, depending on Him, and seeing Him work.

III. Conclusion

Let me close by telling you exactly how God wants you to respond this morning to this verse... James 4:8 & 10 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Understand that not living up to God's ideal–even in your personality–where no one sees but you and God–is a sin. It is missing God's mark of perfection. Now, with that in mind, will you humble yourself before God this morning, and honestly answer this question to yourself. Out of these five ideals, where is your personality weakest? In other words, where have you failed to live up to God's ideal? –Not given to drunkenness –Not violent –Gentle –Not Quarrelsome –Not a Lover of Money. I want you to specifically ask God to forgive you for that area where you have been trying to do things your way, and not His. Take some time right now to do that. (Silent Prayer)

Now, as your pastor, I want to partner with you in bringing your personality up to the level where God wants it. You've just prayed and humbled yourself before God about where you need to improve. That's a great first step. But you can do something else. You can include me in that equation this coming week, as well. If I can pray for you specifically concerning one of these personality areas and your growth this week, I'm going to ask you to use your Welcome Card to indicate that this morning. And my promise is to pray for you to grow in this specific area, during the coming week. We're told in Scripture that...

Eccl. 4:12 12 ...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Your humbleness before God. God's power to forgive and empower you. And my prayers for strength and consistency. Those are the three strands that can make this a permanent change in your life, not just something committed to today, and forgotten tomorrow. Let's get each other to where God wants us to be, starting today. 

Amen