Sermon Series: Choosing Church Leaders, God's Way

All in the Family

1 Timothy 3:2

PSBC 10/24/99

In a nutshell: A church leader must show godly concern for "strangers" in the church and for the people who are already there.

I. Introduction

A. Story

It seems that a pastor while on vacation had the opportunity to visit the Crystal Cathedral, where Dr. Robert Schuller is the pastor. And one of the things that impressed him most was the practice of everyone turning around and shaking hands with each other, and greeting the other worshipers nearby.

This pastor thought that his church was a bit stuffy and could use a dose of friendliness. So, the next Sunday, when he was in the pulpit, he announced that the following Sunday they were going to initiate this same custom of greeting people. At the close of that morning's worship service a man turned around to the lady behind him, stuck out his hand, and said, "Good morning."

At this the lady looked at him rather strangely and with shock at his boldness and said, "I beg your pardon, young man! That friendliness business doesn't start until next Sunday."

B. Where we are

Well, this idea of friendliness is pretty important to what we'll be studying this morning. We are in the midst of a series of sermons that I'm calling, "Choosing Church Leaders, God's Way." The purpose for this series is two-fold.

1. First, on Sunday evening, December 5, we will be electing church leaders who will be charged with the responsibility to lead this church into the next millennium-what I believe will be the most exciting and challenging time in our church's history. And this being the case, we dare not choose leaders who are anything but totally qualified according to God's standards to be the leaders of His church-we all need to be on the same page on this issue.

2. Second, Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 3:1, these are not just goals for the people we choose to be our church leaders, but these are the life and character standards toward which we all should be striving and stretching, because they are the very best thing that we can be doing with our Christian lives-what Paul calls, a NOBLE TASK.

C. Review

Over the past three weeks, we have taken time to look at an overview of the important task of church leadership, and Christian maturity. Then we spent the next two weeks looking at the character of a leader-character that demonstrates moral purity, temperance (understanding the times and knowing what to do), self-control (that quality that comes from understanding the spiritual war we fight every day), and respectability (that ability to live our lives as a cosmetic to the gospel, that makes our message appealing to those who observe us).

But this week, we're going to look at two qualifications that fall under a completely different heading from character. This week we'll look at A Leader's Relationships to People in the Church.

At the end of 1 Timothy 3:2, Paul sums up the godly relationship that a leader... and any person who is maturing in his or her faith, is expected to have with people in the church. He does this by introducing two important ideas. Look at the verse...

1 Timothy 3:2

2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

HOSPITALITY and ABLE TO TEACH. Let's look at each of these this morning.

II. Hospitality

The word hospitality is the result of putting two Greek words together. It's the word that means "to show brotherly love", and the word that means "stranger" put together into one. When that happens, you come up with a definition of hospitality that says..."showing love to strangers".

The word "hospitality" is used five times in the New Testament-3 times in Paul's writings; once in Peter's; and once in John's. But the interesting thing that struck me as I prepared this message and studied each use of the word, was that hospitality, as has a limited usage.

You see, every time this word is used in the New Testament it is used in the context of showing love to strangers...IN THE CHURCH.

Now, I'm not saying that it is a bad thing for Christians to be hospitable to non-Christians--in fact, this is a very good thing. But when it comes to actions that qualify a person to be a leader in the church, or actions that indicate a Christian man or woman is really maturing in his or her Christian faith, showing hospitality to people in the church must always be a very high priority.

But I'd do a dis-service to you this morning if I tried to teach you about hospitality, by merely using generalities. Because, when I say we should be hospitable, just about everyone of us will nod our heads and say, "You're right Tom. I agree with that." And I think we do, in principle.

But, I want to move beyond just theory and principle. I want to look at specific practice, and help us see ways of making this a reality in our lives-so it really takes place at Palm Springs Baptist Church.

There are three specific things we can do in our church to practically practice hospitality...

A. Greeting New People to Our Church

Illustration: Sometime ago, I read an article about a man who visited 18 different churches on successive Sundays. He was trying to find out what the churches were really like. He said, "I sat near the front. After the service, I walked slowly to the rear, then returned to the front and back to the foyer using another aisle. I smiled, dressed neatly. I always asked one person to direct me to a specific place: a fellowship hall, pastor's study, etc. I remained for coffee if served. I used a scale to rate the reception I received. I awarded points on the following basis: 10 for a smile from a worshiper; 10 for a greeting from someone sitting nearby; 100 for an exchange of names ; 200 for an invitation to have coffee; 200 for an invitation to return; 1000 for an introduction to another worshiper; 2000 for an invitation to meet the pastor."

On this scale, 11 of the 18 churches earned fewer than 100 points. Five actually received less than 20. The conclusion of the author of this article was this: "The doctrine may be biblical, the singing inspirational, the sermon uplifting, but when a visitor finds nobody who cares whether he's here or not, he is not likely to come back."

Friends, here's a practical application for each maturing Christian man or woman in this church... No person who visits this church should leave without being greeted and talked to by at least six people. And you are one of those six people.

Let me put it another way... If you consider this your church-whether you're a member or not-you shouldn't leave this place on a Sunday morning without talking to at least one person you don't know. Based on what Paul says in this verse, you're not a very mature believer unless you do!

B. Not Just Friendly With Your Friends

A second practical point is that there is nothing special to being friendly with your friends at church.

-Let me tell you, the most hardened atheist is friendly with his or her friends. That's nothing special.

-Non-Christians have friends over to their house for food and fellowship. There's nothing special about that.

-What makes Christian hospitality special is that it reaches out to people who aren't your close friends, for no other reason than to show the love of Jesus Christ to that "stranger".

When I was growing up, this was a regular practice in my home. But I'm seeing this practice of having people over, diminish more and more over the past 20 years. I think part of that is because we have moved away from a "hospitality" mind set and have moved into an "entertainment" mind set when it comes to having people in our homes.

Karen Mains in her book, Open Heart, Open Home writes these words (front of bulletin)...

Entertaining says, "I want to impress you with my home, my clever decorating, my cooking." Hospitality, says, "This home is a gift from my Master. I use it as He desires." Hospitality aims to serve. Entertaining puts things before people. "As soon as I get the house finished, the living room decorated, my housecleaning done then I will start inviting people." Hospitality puts people first. "No furniture we'll eat on the floor! The decorating may never get done you come anyway. The house is a mess but you are friends come home with us." Entertaining subtly declares, "This home is mine, an expression of my personality. Look and admire." Hospitality whispers, "What is mine is yours."

C. Share With People Who are In Need

A third very practical idea that you may not have thought of regarding hospitality is one that Paul mentions in Romans...

Romans 12:13

13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

We are coming into the season of the year when it seems like every Christian organization that we've ever come in contact with is sending us a letter and is asking us for a donation. If you're like me, it's hard not to resent these kinds of invasions into my mail box. For a long time I'd either rip up those letters that asked for money, or I wouldn't even open them up, and just throw them away. But I've changed, since reading something a former seminary professor of mine wrote when he sent out a fund raising letter after he became President of a Christian college...

"The response I get from so many people is this...'The trouble is, you are always asking for money.' Well, you're probably right. But let me tell you a personal story.

I had a little boy; my firstborn. He was a delight to our hearts, but he was always costing me something. He needed clothing, shoes, food, and had special needs that I gladly provided, for he was my son. Then one day he died. It was an experience that I hope you will never have. He does not cost me a dollar now.

Every need is an unfailing sign of life and growth. Body, mind and soul have their needs and they must be met continually. A ministry for God's Kingdom that is constantly in need of funds is a ministry that is alive and growing and going somewhere. A dead ministry has no need, and will not bother you."

Friends, can I tell you how I've changed in the past few years? When I get a letter in the mail asking to help with a ministry, I do one of two things...

-either I send some money, if I am able, or

-I pray for the work of that ministry for a week after I receive the letter.

You see, both my money and my commitment to pray are tangible ways of ...

...Sharing with God's people who are in need. Practicing hospitality.

D. Review

So, there you have it-3 practical ways to show hospitality...

1. Intentionally greet new people.

2. Don't just be friendly with your friends.

3. Share with people who are in need.

III. Able To Teach

But, there is a second way God expects the leaders of His church and those of us who are committed to maturing in our faith, to act, when it comes to relationships in church. Not only are we to "Show Love to Strangers", but we are also to show love to the rest of the church family by being "Able to Teach". Let me explain what Paul is talking about...

This phrase "Able to Teach" means that you demonstrate the ability to apply the Word of God to a specific situation that you come across in the normal course of life. We're not talking about classroom teaching here.

This phrase is used in only two places in the Bible--once here, in 1 Timothy 3, where it is simply listed as something that mature Christians are supposed to do; and in the next book in our Bibles, 2 Timothy, where ground rules are given in how we are to do this. Turn just a few pages ahead in your Bibles to the book of 2 Timothy, and look at chapter 2, and verses 24-25...

2 Timothy 2:24-25

24 And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,

These two verses tell us the five basic guidelines for us to follow as we apply the Word of God to the normal situations in life...

A. Must not Quarrel

The first guideline is that you cannot quarrel when you do it.

Illustration: The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported a story a few years ago, that said firefighters in Genoa, Texas, were accused of deliberately setting more than forty destructive fires. When caught, the firefighters stated, "We had nothing to do. We just wanted to get the red lights flashing and the bells clanging."

You see, friends, the job of firefighters is to put out fires, not start them. The job of Christians is to help resolve conflict, not start more of it. Remember what we studied a few weeks ago in our Sermon on the Mount study?...

Matthew 5:9

9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

I like what Billy Graham says, "Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything." This is an important guideline... Don't quarrel when you apply the Word of God to life situations.

B. Kind to everyone

The second guideline Paul lists as being part of "Able to Teach" is to be kind to everyone.

Illustration: The word picture that this would conjure up for the people of Paul's day was of the family nurse or "nanny", who was either employed by a family or who was a slave in a household. Her job was to take care of the children during the day.

If she failed to show kindness, tenderness, and loving firmness to the children of the family she would be fired or in the case of a slave, killed. So, there was a real sense of seriousness to show caution when dealing with the children of the family. A nurse showed kindness, tenderness, and loving firmness even if she didn't want to, because her life and her job depended on it.

That's the same seriousness that Paul says has to go along with being "Able to Teach" in the church. We need to show kindness when we use the word of God, because our qualification to do a leadership job depends upon it. Teaching the Word of God should never be something that is used to beat someone into submission, or simply bringing someone to thinking our way. Rather, it is a tool with tremendous power that we should wield with caution and respect.

C. Not Resentful

The third guideline for being "Able to Teach" is NOT RESENTFUL. The Greek word literally means... "Patient of Wrong". Let me illustrate it with this story...

Illustration: The train was filled with tired people. Most of them had spent the day traveling through the hot dusty plains and at last evening had come and they all tried to settle down to a sound sleep. However, at one end of the car a man was holding a tiny baby and as night came on the baby became restless and cried more and more. Unable to take it any longer, a big brawny man spoke for the rest of the group. "Why don't you take that baby to its mother?" There was a moment's pause and then came the reply. "I'm sorry. I'm doin' my best. The baby's mother is in her casket in the baggage car ahead."

There was an awful silence for a moment. Then the big man who asked the cruel question was out of his seat and moved toward the man with the motherless child. He apologized for his impatience and his unkind remark. He took the tiny baby in his own arms and told the tired father to get some sleep. Then in loving patience the man who seemed to be most offended by the child's crying, cared for the little child all through the night.

When a leader in the church is "Able To Teach" he or she takes time to know, understand and sympathize with the situations of the people he or she wants to help. A maturing Christian man or woman will not jump to conclusions that would harm a relationship.

D. Gently Instruct

The fourth guideline for being "Able to Teach", is that the instruction must be gentle.

Illustration: The picture is of someone who is teaching a baby to walk. Some of you can remember that time. Some of you are coming upon it with your little ones. When you teach a baby to walk, you gently help the baby feel secure in standing on its feet. You provide assistance and security to catch the baby when it falls-because it will do just that. You give it encouragement as that child makes the attempt to try something it has never tried before.

What would you think of a parent or grandparent who would say to a child when it is learning to walk? "What do you mean you're afraid? Just do it! I don't have time for these excuses. I showed you how to walk. I explained the physical process of walking. I even told you the benefits of walking. Now shut your mouth and walk!"

That lack of gentleness is not good parenting, in the same way that a lack of gentleness is a poor use of God's Word when we look to apply it to a normal life situation.

Gentleness in using God's Word to teach, involves a lot of love, a lot of tenderness, a lot of trying over and over and over again, before the person we are trying to help finally gets it right.

E. Hope in God's Work

The final guideline for being "Able to Teach" is a hope in God's Word that it will work. Paul says that when we are able to teach we have a...

2 Tim. 2:25

25 ...hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,

That phrase, "...grant them repentance..." has a root meaning of "striking with the palm of the hand." It refers to an act of correcting a harmful action. And the subject of that verb is God-not us!

That means, that men and women who are "Able to Teach" know...

-that even the greatest knowledge of Greek or Hebrew or Aramaic or Ugaritic won't change a person.

-they know that the most finely reasoned-out argument or premise won't convince someone to turn to God.

-they know that the most beautiful word pictures or illustrations take a back seat in importance to God's Holy Spirit doing its work in a person's life.

The person who is "Able to Teach" is a capable communicator who doesn't quarrel, who is kind, who is patient, who is gentle, but who also leaves the outcome to God.

Illustration: Eugene and Sherry asked me to perform their marriage ceremony. Sherry was a member of our church in Scottsdale, and Eugene was a very nice guy, but he didn't know the Lord. They had been living together for about a year, and were very much in love. After a couple of sessions together, I presented the gospel to Eugene, and he responded by asking Jesus Christ to be his personal Savior. He started going to church with Sherry, and bought himself a Bible and started reading it every day. But, I knew I need to confront this issue of a Christian couple who was living together before getting married. The Bible calls this sexual immorality. So, I decided that I'd just have Eugene look up some passages and read them out loud in our session together, that dealt with this issue. So that's what I did. After reading three passages out loud, he abruptly stopped and turned to his fiancé and said, "We're doing it wrong! Did you know that? How come your didn't tell me we were doing it wrong. We're disobeying God." They decided that night she would move out of their apartment and into her mom and dad's house until the day of the wedding.

What changed Eugene? It was the power of the Word of God. And people who are "Able to Teach" understand this power, and don't try to override it, but simply try to cooperate with it.

IV. Conclusion

Hospitality and Able to Teach. We need them both in our church in an ever increasing measure. How are you doing in these two areas? One has to do with strangers in our church, the other has to do with people already a part of the family. Choose one this morning where you see a need to improve, and in our time of silent prayer right now, lay that before God and ask Him to begin shoring you up in an area where you are weak. Amen.