Sermon Series: Choosing Church Leaders, God's Way 

Godly Character–Part One 

1 Timothy 3:2 

Palm Springs Baptist Church 10/10/99–AM

In a nutshell: Authentic godly character is what will draw people to God. Marital purity is the first of God's character standards.

I. Introduction

A. William Edelen commentary–Desert Sun newspaper, 10/2/99

Our favorite newspaper commentator has struck again! Did you read Bill Edelen's column in last Saturday's Desert Sun newspaper? It was titled, "Bible a stupid book from a stupid God believed by stupid people."

If you didn't see the article, or to refresh your minds regarding what Edelen said, let me pick out a few excerpts...

"On the CNN show "Equal Time" recently, the homophobic Oliver North ranted and raved and foamed at the mouth about gays and lesbians and how God's "word" in Leviticus calls them "sinners."

"Don't you just love the biblical clowns who say, "The bible is true, every word, and we live by that book. And it says right there in Leviticus 18:22 that ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman'"?

Hey, boy, hot dog, if we live by that archaic, superstitious and ignorant book, well, wow, just look at who else is going to burn in hell.

Ah, what fun! Practically all of the Republican leaders in Washington, that's who. God said, "You shall not marry a woman divorced from her husband." (21:7) ...how I love that Bible. There goes Reagan, Dole, Gingrich, Buchanan, Barr. They gonna burn in hell, boy. That's what the Bible says, and we live by that book.

B. Comment on the commentary

By the way, let me set something straight for you. Mr. Edelen misquotes scripture here and throughout the article. The directive about marrying a divorced woman in Leviticus 21:7 is focused exclusively on the priests of the nation of Israel. Plus the entire verse says... Leviticus 21:7 7 They must not marry women defiled by prostitution or divorced from their husbands, because priests are holy to their God. The word our English Bibles translates divorce, is really the Hebrew word "put out". It was the action of putting a woman out of the household because she had brought ill-repute or a bad reputation on the home or the family by an action she had done. It was generally an action on par or equal to prostitution to bring such a final action.

And God's point in giving this command was to make sure that a person who served as His priest–remember that's the ones to whom this command was given –would not enter into any public relationship that would bring ill-repute on him or his office–since he represented the holy God. But I think that explanation is much deeper than Mr. Edelen wants to go.

C. Continue the article

Consistently, in the rest of the article, Mr. Edelen mis-quotes or takes out of context three or four other verses from God's commands to the Israelites in Leviticus, in order to prove to his readers how stupid the Bible is and how stupid those are who follow it.

But he ends the article with an interesting paragraph...

"All of you Oliver North, Jerry Falwell, Billy Graham, Pat Robertson, James Dobson fundamentalist biblical phonies, if you say Leviticus is God's word on gays and lesbians, then the entire book is obviously God's word to anyone with an I.Q. above 3. So live it. Walk the talk or get off it."

D. Transition

Now friends, don't hate Bill Edelen for his views. Be smart. Recognize the facts. He's trying to sell newspapers; goad you into writing hateful letters to the editor; and make himself useful in his own eyes.

Rather, I'd challenge you to pray for him when you read his columns on Saturdays. He needs to come to the realization that Jesus loves him and wants to be the forgiver of his sins and the leader of his life. God wants a relationship with him as much as He wants one with each of us. After all, Jesus said,

John 6:40 40 For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

But, Edelen's words, "So live it. Walk the talk or get off it", are a good guide for our study this week and in the weeks to come. You see, you can argue with a person's beliefs, and hate their values, and disagree with their decisions. But one thing you can't hate, argue or disagree with –and that's a godly character.

E. Last Week

Last week I introduced this sermon series from 1 Timothy 3 to you, which is about choosing God's kind of leaders to guide this church. But I closed my message with a challenge to you from the first verse...

"Are you willing to begin stretching your life to be one of God's leaders?" And I made a pretty bold statement..."Your response to that challenge will determine whether you will be a hindrance or a help to this church's ability to do the part of the "Great Commission" that God is asking us to fulfill here in the Coachella Valley and the world!"

Well, if you're up to that challenge, and if you're willing to begin stretching, then we are going to start this morning. The things Paul lists in verses 2-7, are the things that Mr. Edelen or anyone else who is hostile toward Biblical Christianity, will not be able to argue against. In the deepest sense of the term, they rise to the challenge of "So live it. Walk the talk or get off it".

II. Introduction to the Qualifications

A. How the Qualifications are Divided

As I have been studying this 1 Timothy 3 passage for the past several weeks, the qualifications Paul lists in verses 2-7, seem to divide into five life-areas... 1.Qualifications regarding character, 2. qualifications regarding relationships with people in the church, 3. qualifications for daily living, 4. qualifications for life at home, when the doors are shut and it is only you and your family, 5. and qualifications for public life, when you are out in the world, rubbing shoulders with people who don't know Jesus.

And over all these areas of qualification one phrase is the overarching umbrella that gives the reason for each one of these groups of qualifications. The phrase is found at the very beginning of verse two...

B. Above Reproach

1 Timothy 3:2 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach...

That phrase is the key to understanding all of these qualifications. Because what we are really talking about is an overseer--a leader in the church--should be above reproach in his or her character; in relationships with people in the church; in daily living; in home life; and in public life.

But what does "above reproach" mean? The phrase literally means, "no handles."

Illustration: I have helped a lot of people move in my time. And I've moved a lot of different kinds of things. But I think the most difficult thing in any house to move is a king or queen size mattress. The reason I think it's difficult is because a mattress should never be bent in half. Because of this, you have to grip it in an upright position in order to get it in or out of a room. And when you grip a mattress while it is standing on end you discover that the manufacturer has placed the handles on the edges, where it's almost impossible for a normal person to grip them. A mattress is in the truest sense of the Greek word, is "above reproach". Because there is nothing to hold on to when you try to move it the right way.

Well, when it comes to our lives, if we are going to be above reproach, God says, through Paul, that there should be nothing in our character, or our daily living, or our church life, or our home life, or our public life that someone could grab onto and hold us back or carry us away.

–Satan loves to hook onto sin in our lives and beat us down because of it, and make us feel guilty. –People outside the church, like Bill Edelen, love to look at inconsistencies in Christians' lives and say, "Look at all the hypocrites in the church."

But being "above reproach" means there are no handles that people can grab on to, and use to hold us back from becoming affective church leaders.

Illustration: I've also found that the quickest way to impede the progress of people moving a mattress in or out of a home is to hook the handle that is on the top or bottom edge while they are walking with the mattress. I had this happen when we were moving a mattress into one of our homes years ago. While a friend and I were maneuvering the mattress through the door, the top handle of the mattress, caught on the automatic door closer. We both lost our grip on the mattress, and one of us had it slip out of his hand, and the other walked into it. Basically, our progress was stopped.

And that's what can happen in a church when leaders are not above reproach. The area of our life where we are inconsistent is a handle for Satan to grab on to, and keep us from being effective in our Christian witness and it keeps the church from moving forward. That's why Paul tells Timothy that he needs to look for people in his church that are consistently godly in their character, their daily living, their home life, their life in the church, and their public life. This consistency doesn't give handles that can be grabbed and therefore impede the progress of God's church from accomplishing its purpose and mission.

III. Above Reproach in Character

That leads us then into the area we will begin examining this morning... The area of character. Paul zero's in on four distinct character traits that all church leaders need to have. We'll look at the first one this morning, and the others next week...

A. Husband of One Wife

The first area of character our leaders need to be above reproach in, is in the area of marital purity. The phrase Paul uses is...

1 Timothy 3:2 "...the husband of one wife..."

B. What does it mean?

1. The Ephesian situation

So, what does it mean to be the husband of one wife? Knowing Ephesus at the time of this writing will help us understand this qualification.

Explanation: Ephesus was the center of the cult worship of the goddess Diana. This is something that gave Ephesus its identity and civic pride. Diana was the goddess of love, of fertility and sexual expertise. A regular religious ritual that all Ephesian men took part in was to regularly visit the temple prostitutes at the Temple of Diana.

In addition, Ephesus was also a sea port and the center for much of the slave trade for all of Asia Minor. Therefore, Ephesians got the pick of all the slaves as they were unloaded and brought to market.

Keep these things in mind as we consider this phrase--"the husband of one wife". The term Paul uses literally says, "a one woman man". This was set against the normal Ephesian man as being a three woman man:

-You see, an Ephesian man usually had at least one slave girl or woman that he had purchased as his sexual toy. This slave would live in the slave quarters of the man's home, so he could visit her on a regular basis. -He also was expected to regularly visit the temple prostitutes as his civic and religious duty. -And he had a wife whose job it was to bear him children.

So, Paul was making a major paradigm shift against popular culture– He said, if you want to be a leader in God's church you had to go against popular culture, you had to go against acceptable civic practice, you had to go against what everyone else was doing, and you had follow God's standard--of being faithful to your wife, and her alone.

b. Translating into Our Culture

So, how do we translate that into our culture? We don't have temple prostitutes in Palm Springs, and sex slaves are against the law. Jesus gives us the definitive word on this... Let me go to Jesus' words in Matthew...

Matthew 5:27-28 27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

When I was on the pastoral staff at Scottsdale Bible Church, we wanted to come up with a practical, working definition of lust to which we could hold each other accountable. This is what we came up with... ..."the second look is lust." The first look at a woman other than your wife is a thankful look where you can legitimately say, "Thank you God for the beauty of your creation, it really is something to see." But the second look, that's where lust starts--that's where the mind starts to kick in with impure thoughts. That's the time we enter the "red zone".

Illustration: Several years ago, I spoke about this very thing in the Dominican Republic, at a large church in Santiago. And would you believe, I had guys come up after the sermon and argue with me about how long the first look could be! Temptation through the eyes is a universal "guy thing".

But, the point of what I'm saying is this: I know that I'm a person who is enticed by what goes into my eyes. And I also know that I am weak and vulnerable in this area. So, practically speaking, I have to build a fence (or what one book calls, "a hedge of protection") around me, so I don't fall into that temptation to lust. So, for me the idea of "the second look is lust," works as a good hedge to protect me from what I might allow to go into my eyes. What's going to work for you?

But what is lust, really? And why is it so bad that Jesus had to warn against it?

c. What is Lust?

Everyone of us, whether male or female is tempted sexually today. No one can avoid the sexual messages that are sent to us through advertising, entertainment, magazine covers in the grocery stores, television commercials. Combine that with the multitude of people--both male and female–today who are wearing provocative and exhibitionist clothing, we can't avoid being sexually tempted. But understand something, temptation is not sin. It is when we act on that temptation, that sin starts.

The sin of lust takes place when you deliberately insist on pursuing an illegitimate sexual relationship with a person in your mind. (What I call the second look.) When that occurs, in God's sight, you are committing the act of adultery. And as long as you're involved in adultery, you are not a one woman man or a one man woman. And you've given Satan a handle on your character.

So, how do we practically follow this qualification of an overseer–"being the husband of one wife"? Let me give you four practical suggestions:

IV. 4 Practical Way to Maintain Moral Purity

A. Husbands and wives must develop good communication with each other.

Gene Getz says in his book, Measure of a Man, says this (front of bulletin)... "The married man who is able to keep his "moral house" in order and who is able to handle the normal temptations that arise in our contemporary culture is usually a man who has good communications with his wife."

Every sexual sin that I have heard of regarding a Christian leader has started out as a secret in their thought life, that wasn't shared with their spouse. Friends, let me give you some very practical advice if you're married–talk with your spouse about when you are being tempted to lust. And if you're the listening spouse, listen understandingly, not accusingly, to the feelings and thoughts that are shared. Realize that men and women are wired differently. So what tempts one will not tempt the other. But temptation is there, and what better place to handle and work through temptation that in the marriage relationship. So, the first practical suggestion, is...Communicate.

B. Run from sexually tempting situations

-If sexually explicit videos tempt you--don't go into a store that handles them. -If seeing the covers of magazines like Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, etc are a source of sexual temptation, don't go into stores that sell them. -If you're tempted by what's on the Internet, stay off it or get some sort of filtering program or server that keeps your computer from receiving adult oriented sites. -If watching a certain program on TV is a source of sexual temptation, don't watch it. -If you stay in a hotel for business that has pornographic movies available for you to watch, do what my friend Darrel does--ask them to remove the TV. (A sad statistic that came out of the south a few years ago...was from a study done in Atlanta, that showed that at the annual convention of a certain Christian denomination, there was absolutely no difference in the frequency of the use of the pornographic movie channels at a certain hotel, between those Christian representatives of that denomination, and the normal business crowd that used the hotel–That doesn't speak well to character!)

If you're tempted, have the courage, the guts, and the smarts to run away from the temptation.

C. Think Godly

We all need to fortify ourselves through regular study of the Word of God and prayer. I have found through almost 20 years of pastoral counseling, that nothing dulls a desire for communication with God and the study of His Word, more, than exposure to illegitimate sexual stimuli.

And nothing is as effective in combating temptation to lust as a good prayer life and regular study of the Bible. That's why Paul wrote this in...

Phil. 4:8 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things.

D. Be Accountable-especially if you're single

This is a good idea for anyone–whether you're married or not. But this is an especially good idea for those of you who are not married. I am convinced that every non-married Christian man or woman needs to have another Christian of the same gender as an accountability partner. An accountability partner is a person of the same gender who helps you keep from yielding to temptation. And if you do yield, they remind us of God's forgiveness, and hold you accountable for not to repeating the sinful action again.

A person like this isn't found over night. But they also aren't found unless you're looking for them, either. If this strikes a chord with you, then start praying for this person to be brought in your life, soon.

V. Conclusion

We've just started to scratch the surface of godly character. Next week we will finish the area of being above reproach in character, by looking at the character traits of temperance, self-control and respectability.

But as we close, let me leave you with this quote from Horace Greeley...

"Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today may curse tomorrow, only one thing endures–that is a person's character."

God demands men and women of character to be the leaders of His church. It is only men and women of character that will have an enduring effect for Jesus Christ, and will be able to lead the church of Jesus Christ to accomplish its purpose and mission--will you take up the challenge? So live it. Walk the talk or get off it!" 

Amen.